Undo Pity. Unlock Joy.

Living with your in-laws is an adventure in itself. Any time you have the slightest misconception of any control of your own space, you are subtly reminded that the boundaries are simply a figment of our imagination.

After inadvertently playing many roles in home-based comedy-dramas, you come to realise that the living room is actually not a space to live but to leave. The kitchen can often tend to be a war-zone with hidden land-mines that disrupt any possible peace treaties.

Your night-stand is like a twitter post by a celebrity, subject to scrutiny by all existing followers. If you are truly blessed, you will have a separate washroom to yourself. If you are not, then knock-knock-knocking on heaven’s door is the song composed just for you!

It could become a cause of a big worry but somehow, despite all odds, human beings have this amazing tendency to adjust. In fact, with some perspective and a bit of observation, these seemingly onerous day-to-day situations can become a source of much needed amusement and sometimes, harmless gossip.

In some cases, though, the whole thing can get a bit tedious when your new next-door neighbours are not only loud, but loud at 5 am in the morning! While you only dream of waking up at 5 am and go for that early morning run, the dear neighbours have achieved significant goals by that time.

They have woken up the crows with the whistles of their pressure cooker. The loud whirring sound of their mixer-grinder has announced to other families that they were lagging behind their chores. The smell of the flavourful tadka in their food reminded you of how spice-less your own life seemed, early in the morning.

If that isn’t enough, the morning cough and brushing sounds will definitely help wake the neighbourhood without any alarm. On some mornings, one could be treated to a familiar spat over some mundane household chore that is either undone or wasn’t required at all.

One can easily be, as a matter of fact I was, hopping mad by this morning routine that encroaches upon your already existing scarcity of space. For many days that followed, I grumbled with disgust and complained bitterly every morning while covering my head under the pillows, in vain. The sounds only reminded me of my daily chores ahead.

Soon enough though, that amazing human tendency to adjust into a new setting kicked in. In a few weeks, I found myself wide awake at 5 am. My dream to wake up that early and go for a run was here before me. All it needed was for me to take some action. But you see, there was a catch as always.

The art of complaining as you wake up in the morning is one that requires quite a bit of practice. Apparently, I had put in quite some time to master at this art form. The secret to complaining is that one never really has to take an action to change the situation or even understand it. Just blame someone else for your painful experience and reward yourself with some self-pity. And, so I did blame the neighbours for spoiling my sleep and held a pity-party for myself every morning.

As weeks went by, one day I lay awake in my bed waiting for the kitchen and bathroom noises to begin. When I heard no sound for about an hour I wondered what had happened. It wasn’t even a Sunday, the only day they took a break. The mind is a curious being. Even when it gets what it wants, it will not stay quiet. It wants to know why, when, what and how!

And so, I followed the mind’s curiosity and found myself knocking on the neighbour’s door hoping for some answers. A woman in her early 40s, dressed in track pants and a t-shirt with her hair tied in a plait, answered. I had barely ever greeted her in the lobby before today. That’s the thing about living in big cities. You don’t really have to be friendly to your neighbours or their quirks.

I paused before I said, “Hi! I am your neighbour in B-3…Is everything ok?”

If she was puzzled, she hid it well.

“Yes, everything’s fine. Did you want something?”

“I just did not hear any sound from your house this morning. I wondered if you were fine.” I felt stupid as the words came out of my mouth.

“Oh that. You noticed! Well… my daughter is at a friend’s sleepover and my father has gone for a meditation retreat. So, I thought I will use the break and head out for an early morning run!” She sounded so gleeful.

I should have felt reassured but all I wanted to do was to complain for some reason. Suddenly I saw her smiling face behind all the noises and chores, and I felt confused. I felt jealous of her ability to make the best of her situation.

As I turned towards my door, I heard her ask, “Do you run? We can go together…”

For a moment, I felt a deluge of excuses fill up my mind. But before I could utter a polite no, something caught the corner of my eye. I noticed a simple handwritten note stuck on her letter box.

It said - “Undo pity. Unlock joy.”

She followed my gaze. “My mother used to say this a lot. She believed that sometimes we have to practice joy to get joy in life. My daughter put it here as a reminder for us.”

It felt unsettling yet reassuring to hear that. For that fleeting second all my excuses disappeared and I was left with a soothing emptiness.

I looked at her and smiled. “I will be right back with my shoes.”